My Story

I continued working because I didn’t know what else to do.

Each day that passed, I sensed the urgency —
like something inside me was running out of time.

My body felt weaker.
My mind felt slower.

Emotionally, I was starting to go numb.

The things that once energized me felt distant.

Conversations took more effort.
Focus required force.

There was always this tiredness.

Nothing was easy.

It wasn’t dramatic.

It was gradual.

But I could feel myself slipping.

I kept telling myself I just needed to push through it.

And when I couldn’t —
I told myself to get my act together.

That didn’t work either.

So I kept searching for solutions as it got worse.

Sometimes something would help — for a moment.

Other times… nothing made a difference at all.

More and more of my time shifted to the couch
or to bed.

It became less about living —
and more about surviving.

That’s when I finally admitted: something might be seriously wrong.

I started seeking medical support.

To my frustration, no one could give me a clear answer.

No diagnosis.
No explanation.
No roadmap forward.

And still, my health continued to decline.

Eventually, I was on sick leave.

Most days, I couldn’t get out of bed.

I was alone.
Too numb to be miserable.

I had nothing left.

No more options.

That’s when I did something I never imagined I’d do.

I booked a session with a shaman.

Something I would have dismissed not long before.

At that point, I was open to anything.

Anyone who might have answers.

What happened next…

I couldn’t ignore.

For the first time in years,

I saw the possibility of healing.

Not coping,

Not managing symptoms.

Healing.

I didn’t fully understand it.

But I knew it mattered.

I left that day with answers.

And a path forward —

even if I didn’t know where it would lead.

I didn’t walk away from that session instantly healed.

My recovery happened one step at a time.

It took a year and a half before I received confirmation that the illness which had shaped eight years of my life was gone entirely.

Looking back,

what carried me through those 18 months came down to five things.

First, I learned to follow a different guidance system — my intuition.

It’s a humbling realization to recognize that you gave life your best effort —

and it almost ended with you in a grave.

I came to understand something simple:

my mind alone didn’t have the ability to change my life the way it needed to change.

So even when I didn’t fully understand what I was doing, I moved anyway.

I followed what felt true.

I listened in a way I never had before.

It was time to trust a different guidance system.

Second, I radically changed my diet and rebuilt my relationship with my body.

For years, I had pushed my body to perform.

I trained it. I disciplined it. I expected it to keep up.

Now I had to learn how to support it.

For the first nine months, I ate nothing but steak.

It was simple, consistent, and removed all food related inflammatory triggers.

Instead of constantly experimenting, I removed the noise and gave my body something it could rely on.

For the following nine months, I slowly expanded my diet to include steak, butter, eggs, and raw cheese.

It wasn’t about restriction.

It was about rebuilding trust —

learning how to listen to my body

instead of overriding it.

Third, I studied shamanic teachings and learned how to move energy.

Before this point, energy was not something I even knew existed outside a science classroom. My life had always been built on what could be measured, tested, and improved.

But my experience had already shown me that something deeper was at play.

So, I began to study.

I learned how energy moves through the body —

and how emotional and mental patterns shape our physical state.

What once sounded abstract

began to make sense

as I experienced it firsthand.

And I didn’t just learn about it — I practiced it.

Everything I studied, I applied directly to myself in support of my own healing.

Over time, what once seemed mysterious became something I could feel, understand, and interact with directly.

Fourth, I learned how to use my dreams to better understand and shift my reality.

For most of my life, dreams had simply been something that happened while I slept. I didn’t give them much thought.

But during this time, they began to change.

They became more vivid. More symbolic. More intentional.

Over time, I realized my dreams were showing me things about myself that I couldn’t see while I was awake — patterns, emotions, and beliefs that were quietly shaping my life.

By learning how to pay attention to them, I began to understand my inner world in a completely new way.

And as my inner world shifted, so did my external reality.

Fifth, I learned to love myself. Truly and deeply.

During those long days lying in bed, unable to function, I spent my time thinking. With the little mental energy I had, I kept returning to one question:

What is love?

When I looked at my life honestly,

I realized I didn’t really see it. I didn’t feel it —

not in the way people talked about it.

Lying there, unable to perform or produce anything,

something started to become clear.

I realized the love I gave myself had always been conditional, and because of that, I had never allowed myself to receive anything deeper.

Then one day, I had an experience that shifted my entire understanding.

In that moment, I felt love in a way I never had before.

It wasn’t something I earned. It wasn’t something I proved myself worthy of. It was simply there — steady, patient, and unconditional.

From that moment forward, something in me changed. A devotion to myself formed.

As the relationship with myself began to change,

so did my healing.